Secret

There it lies
Deep but not dark.
Hidden from the eye
that jumps to judge, and lurch
to smell and search.

Its sensuous presence
lives on in my soul.
Questioning my actions
dormant, but active.
A core within my core.
Swollen but not sore.

In a corner it sleeps
buried not forgotten.
Forgiven yet forbidden
to snow its face.
Tempting to uncover the past
running into the future,
holding on to mature.

You won't be killed,
you won't be stripped.
You'll continue to linger
in my senses, safe.
Provoking to keep more like you
in the coffin of my heart.
You are my twin slave,
you'll go with me to my grave.

Falling

A jump into a deep ravine
from over, and between two tall mountains.
Gravity pulling down,
and winds floating the bones.
Falling; exctasy running through my blood.
Falling; madness rushing through like a flood.

Feels like eternity,
Yearning for it to last beyond certainty.
Rising faster than going down,
Heart slower than the speed of descend.
Falling; rising beyond and above.
Falling; exalting love.

Fountain of the purest streams
Erupts through gliding weightless mass,
Cutting smooth like a butter knife
Taking the existance deeper and deeper.
Falling; a touch beneath the ground.
Falling; heaven bound.

Feet touch the farthest point,
Sending back up with equal force
That which now needs to rise again
To climb up to another fall.
Falling; a force.
Falling; into the source.

Rappling the zillionth time up that waterfall
To chase another wing of freedom.
Tired, yet when eyes look down again,
Energies lead soul to another fall.
Falling; numb release of the being
Falling; recurring freeing.

ghosts

Doubts are like ghosts...
They make their presence felt from time to time.
They need attention.
They raise their ugly head whenever you fumble.
And these ghosts can ruin your relationships
if you don't exorcise them in time.

Communication is they key to laying these ghosts to rest.
Need to communicate with them and communicate about them to your partner.
That's the only way they vanish.

I drove away these ghosts two days back
when I communicated.
Things are much clearer and much brighter now.
What with me feeling like I've fallen in love all over again with the same person.
Truely Madly and Deeply!
Hey DDD...Do you remember this song?

No reason to crib, fret and feel insecure for some time now.
'Cause the reason for feeling all this was me.
But now for all that I feel....the reason is you.

relationships and all

Realisation is a state which comes to you when you
walk out of yourself and view yourself from a distance
and then dive inside yourself to experience that realisation.

Soul stirring confrontations in relationships often lead
you to that point where you stand face to face with
realisations about facts that always existed.
Only that you didn't walk out and dive within
to feel the presence of the issues you now deal with.

Relatonships. You are a part of them
and they are a part of you.
When you take away something that means
a lot to somebody you love,
a feeling of worthlessness creeps in.
When communication seizes to exist with the person you love
you wonder where all the love vanished.
When you are sorry but can't express it
because the guilt is too deep, you pick at
your and your loved ones' wounds.
When the hurt seems to fade and the relationship
lights up again you still feel something pulling you away
from the person you love till it hurts.
It still hurts you and the hurt pulls
you away for no reason at all.
You don't feel forgiven, even though the guilt is subsiding.

P.S: stirring incidents lead you to understand your relationships.
They wake you up from a kind of stupor.

A walk in the clouds...

Hey i'm back in Mumbai after celebrating Diwali in Pune.
I love turning to Pune for a much needed break,
where I meet up with my good old school friends,
catch up with my college friends and
spend quality time with my family.

But the best part about my trip home this time
was the visit to my school.
I see my school whenever I am in Pune as it's just
two minutes away from my house.
But hadn't been inside for many years.

That afternoon I was just riding past the school
when I felt the urge to go inside.
The school was closed for vacations and there was
absolutely no body except the three kids
who were playing on the ground.

I stepped in and felt nice and cold.
I observed the campus where we used to have our tiffins.
The quadrangle where we attended the assembly.
The huge trees that stood around the ground.
The church, the place that urged me to bunk my classes
and read the bible,
(Unfortunately, it was locked and I couldn't go in).

The hall where we performed on stage, and cheered
and booed other's performances.
The grounds where we played everything
from dodge ball to hockey.
All these places had undergone minor changes
and a bit of renovation here and there
but there was no drastic change.
I was glad.

Then I stood in the quaudrangle and looked at
each of the closed doors, inside which I once sat.
I look at the one I sat in when I was in Junior KG and
surfed my eyes through all those classes I sat in till my 10th grade.
I couldn't walk in there as they were all locked.
That was the time when I felt like I wish I could go back
there and be part of a class;
Be a part of my batch mates, my teachers and my school.
I longed to sit on one of those benches and
be a school kid all over again.

I walked out of the gate blankly
and hoped to meet my teacher's, the ones that still remained
(as most of the teachers of my time had left),
the next time I visit the school.

Then I wished I had the power to relive these years at
Vidya Bhavan, the years that were the best days of my life,
at least once in my lifetime.