OH MY GOD!!

Words are deluding me. There is excitement, anxiety, surprise, joy and lots and lots of love all at the same time. Overwhelming is all I can sum up!
My status message on gtalk for the last one month: who knows what the tide may bring!
I felt that the phrase somehow applied to my life and it actually happened.
The tide brings in this guy from saat samandar paar to my door step at 1 am on a regular depressing 17th December morning. And suddenly all the gloom, all the insecurities and depression I had had been feeling for the last few days vanish leaving a small white trail of smiles behind.
So I saw him, felt him in my physical space after three long years. And all the wait seemed to have consumated into a feeling of relief. All of it was worth it. It felt just right.
It was the best brithday ever. Romantic, surreal and probably better than all the ways in which I fantasised meeting him. And now I'm happy and excited as usual!
Thanks all you guys for plotting this birthday surprise!
Somu and Shrav I need not thank u guys because I believe that one good turn deserves another :-)

Why????

Am is supposed to feel this way at the most buzzing time of the year?
My birthday, Christmas, Sabir's wedding, Aanchal & Shravan coming & New Year.
This time of the year is happening and I've always made the most of it. Cut ot this year. I'm anxious, upset, irritated, confused, frustrated and unexcited!!
How can I be like this?
I really don't understand my problem.