“Love handles are hot,” a friend told me. Why? “They cause pain when you squeeze them. There’s pleasure in that. So the whole idea is quite sexy as bitter sweet pain is sexy. And so love handles are hot.”
“You mean they are sexy when making sex…oops making love,” I tried to say.
She laughed.
I was like, “I don’t think men find love handles hot!” So she quickly replied, “No they do.”
A guy friend was quickly called on to testify. And he said. “Yes love handles do look hot on some women.” I was zonked. I thought to myself. “I have a chance with all my bulging fat!”
But when she gave him the pain theory even he was zonked and wondered why he even became a part of this strange conversation.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Layers
There were thin,
very thin,
layers,
beneath the skin.
Layers of hues
that were shut out
by a colourblind love.
Layers invisible
to the naked eye
that wants to see
only what it believes.
Srcape them,
one by one.
They are nothing but a veil.
I know with each layer
of your skin
more blood will ooze
from within me.
But now take off that veil
and let me see the face of truth.
For each uncovering layer
reveals the real you.
very thin,
layers,
beneath the skin.
Layers of hues
that were shut out
by a colourblind love.
Layers invisible
to the naked eye
that wants to see
only what it believes.
Srcape them,
one by one.
They are nothing but a veil.
I know with each layer
of your skin
more blood will ooze
from within me.
But now take off that veil
and let me see the face of truth.
For each uncovering layer
reveals the real you.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Hottest Olympians of all time
Here's something I put together...
Nadia Comaneci
Age: 47 years
The Soap opera ‘the young and the restless’ became associated with her after a TV program— ABC's Wide World Of Sports— used it as background music for montages of her routines. Composer, Barry De Vorzon, renamed it to ‘Nadia's Theme’ after her.
She wrote a book called ‘letters to a young gymnast’ and launched an album.
She launched her own music album in Bucharest.
Nadia Turner, singer and actress, and American Idol Season 4 Finalist was named after Nadia Comaneci.
Lance Armstrong
Age: 37 years
He dated singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow and the couple even got engaged before a sudden split.
He also later dated fashion designer Tory Burch, Ashley Olsen and most recently Kate Hudson.
Armstrong owns a house in Austin and a ranch in the Texas Hill Country. Neighbours of his ranch property claim that Armstrong polluted a local swimming hole when he was creating a dam on his ranch.
Since retirement, Armstrong has focused his efforts on the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which provides support for people affected by cancer, and on other interests
Sebastian Coe
Age: 52 years
Coe was featured in the Brass Eye (UK television show) spoof documentary on pedophilia unwittingly accusing American blue-eyed soul singers Hall & Oates of not only being the same person but also of being child abusers.
Post-divorce a handful of glamorous women have been seen on his arm.
He is a multimillionaire, a worldwide ambassador for Nike, owns a string of health clubs with a membership of 20,000 and is a member of the East India Club in London.
He has a very large collection of jazz records.
Steffi Graff
Age: 39 years
With her father dominating her personal life until the Graf tax scandal in 1995, Graf often declined social invitations and made few friends on tour.
Graff spent much of the 1990s in a relationship with race car driver Michael Bartels.
She eventually found that she had more in common with tennis superstar Andre Agassi, whom she married in 2001.
The couple have many homes, but prefer to spend much of their time in Las Vegas.
Mark Spitz
Age: 58 years
Spitz is a motivational speaker and travels to Japan, China, Hong Kong and most of Europe since he began in 1973. “My middle name is Mileage Plus,” he says.
His iconic moustache was his hottest feature and was seen as a sign of notoriety as most competitors opt to swim without facial hair, often shaving their bodies completely.
In 1991, he appeared for a sports event sans moustache. When quizzed about the absence on TV show he simply said, “it had become too grey.”
Chemist EH Bronner maintained that Spitz was a prophet. He is mentioned in Bronner's fifth MORAL ABC which appears on each bottle of Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap. Spitz sued Dr Bronner's over this reference.
Dara Torres
Age: 41
At 41, she’s the oldest woman to participate at the Olympics.
During her retirement from swimming she has worked as a reporter and announcer for television networks, NBC, ESPN, TNT, OLN and Fox News.
She also hosts a golf show called the Clubhouse on the Resort Sports Network.
She has been a model and in 1994 she was in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
JAYNE TORVILL & CHRISTOPHER DEAN
Age: 50 years & 51 years
Dean's first ice partner was Sandra Elson. They began skating together when he was 14 and competed as ice dancers for a few years. However, despite becoming British Junior Dance champions, the team parted, as Dean and Elson did not get along well.
Dean was in the police force till 1974, when he decided to quit his job completely to concentrate on ice-skating, and so did Torvill.
Even after retiring the pair continued acted as coaches, choreographers and performers in ITV's Dancing on Ice.
They returned for a second series and third series after the 2007 & 2008 UK series of Dancing on Ice Torvill and Dean took the show on the road for a British tour.
Summer Sanders
Age: 35 years
Summer married Mark Henderson in 2001 and then World Cup skier Erik Schlopy in 2005.
Summer admitted to having a teenage crush on Kirk Cameron.
Summer published the book Champions Are Raised, Not Born: How My Parents Made Me A Success in 1999, which is a tribute to her parents.
A mother of a girl now, Summer launched the Similac Moms Alliance, an online community for moms which gives tips regarding important mothering issues.
Nadia Comaneci
Age: 47 years
The Soap opera ‘the young and the restless’ became associated with her after a TV program— ABC's Wide World Of Sports— used it as background music for montages of her routines. Composer, Barry De Vorzon, renamed it to ‘Nadia's Theme’ after her.
She wrote a book called ‘letters to a young gymnast’ and launched an album.
She launched her own music album in Bucharest.
Nadia Turner, singer and actress, and American Idol Season 4 Finalist was named after Nadia Comaneci.
Lance Armstrong
Age: 37 years
He dated singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow and the couple even got engaged before a sudden split.
He also later dated fashion designer Tory Burch, Ashley Olsen and most recently Kate Hudson.
Armstrong owns a house in Austin and a ranch in the Texas Hill Country. Neighbours of his ranch property claim that Armstrong polluted a local swimming hole when he was creating a dam on his ranch.
Since retirement, Armstrong has focused his efforts on the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which provides support for people affected by cancer, and on other interests
Sebastian Coe
Age: 52 years
Coe was featured in the Brass Eye (UK television show) spoof documentary on pedophilia unwittingly accusing American blue-eyed soul singers Hall & Oates of not only being the same person but also of being child abusers.
Post-divorce a handful of glamorous women have been seen on his arm.
He is a multimillionaire, a worldwide ambassador for Nike, owns a string of health clubs with a membership of 20,000 and is a member of the East India Club in London.
He has a very large collection of jazz records.
Steffi Graff
Age: 39 years
With her father dominating her personal life until the Graf tax scandal in 1995, Graf often declined social invitations and made few friends on tour.
Graff spent much of the 1990s in a relationship with race car driver Michael Bartels.
She eventually found that she had more in common with tennis superstar Andre Agassi, whom she married in 2001.
The couple have many homes, but prefer to spend much of their time in Las Vegas.
Mark Spitz
Age: 58 years
Spitz is a motivational speaker and travels to Japan, China, Hong Kong and most of Europe since he began in 1973. “My middle name is Mileage Plus,” he says.
His iconic moustache was his hottest feature and was seen as a sign of notoriety as most competitors opt to swim without facial hair, often shaving their bodies completely.
In 1991, he appeared for a sports event sans moustache. When quizzed about the absence on TV show he simply said, “it had become too grey.”
Chemist EH Bronner maintained that Spitz was a prophet. He is mentioned in Bronner's fifth MORAL ABC which appears on each bottle of Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap. Spitz sued Dr Bronner's over this reference.
Dara Torres
Age: 41
At 41, she’s the oldest woman to participate at the Olympics.
During her retirement from swimming she has worked as a reporter and announcer for television networks, NBC, ESPN, TNT, OLN and Fox News.
She also hosts a golf show called the Clubhouse on the Resort Sports Network.
She has been a model and in 1994 she was in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.
JAYNE TORVILL & CHRISTOPHER DEAN
Age: 50 years & 51 years
Dean's first ice partner was Sandra Elson. They began skating together when he was 14 and competed as ice dancers for a few years. However, despite becoming British Junior Dance champions, the team parted, as Dean and Elson did not get along well.
Dean was in the police force till 1974, when he decided to quit his job completely to concentrate on ice-skating, and so did Torvill.
Even after retiring the pair continued acted as coaches, choreographers and performers in ITV's Dancing on Ice.
They returned for a second series and third series after the 2007 & 2008 UK series of Dancing on Ice Torvill and Dean took the show on the road for a British tour.
Summer Sanders
Age: 35 years
Summer married Mark Henderson in 2001 and then World Cup skier Erik Schlopy in 2005.
Summer admitted to having a teenage crush on Kirk Cameron.
Summer published the book Champions Are Raised, Not Born: How My Parents Made Me A Success in 1999, which is a tribute to her parents.
A mother of a girl now, Summer launched the Similac Moms Alliance, an online community for moms which gives tips regarding important mothering issues.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Anger
When I get angry I get so dramatic. Dramatic is an understatement. Probably, melodramatic suits better. Rather, scary is more befitting. So loud, unbearably ugly and stupidly weepy! I would cringe if I saw an angry me from a distance. Recently, I got so angry I yelled. I'm sure our neighbouring building shook. But my opponent was strong. He didn't budge. I hit my cheek, hit the wall and yelled at the top of my voice. And even then when my opponent didn't give in, I walked off slamming the door behind me. I lost. I was weeping. I wept for a long time. Then the anger subsided and my breathing got back to normal.
But the point is, no matter how I expressed my anger I lost. I wish I had just let things be. I get scared of myself when I'm angry. That's why I hate anger. What overtook next morning was a calm I hadn't felt in ages. I was numb. My hand was hurting so was my cheek. And I'm sure even that wall felt some amount of pain.
I now wish I'd rather have kept calm before. Blowing off the handle doesn't help except add drama. It's all so funny to me now. I can now see myself moving in slow motion. My hand rising slowly and then coming down on the wall. Once, and again. Tidhish tidhish...in slow motion...Indian television style. I would have garnered the highest TRPs.
Accept it dear, you could have handled things better.
But the point is, no matter how I expressed my anger I lost. I wish I had just let things be. I get scared of myself when I'm angry. That's why I hate anger. What overtook next morning was a calm I hadn't felt in ages. I was numb. My hand was hurting so was my cheek. And I'm sure even that wall felt some amount of pain.
I now wish I'd rather have kept calm before. Blowing off the handle doesn't help except add drama. It's all so funny to me now. I can now see myself moving in slow motion. My hand rising slowly and then coming down on the wall. Once, and again. Tidhish tidhish...in slow motion...Indian television style. I would have garnered the highest TRPs.
Accept it dear, you could have handled things better.
I smell you
Yes, I love perfumes and deodorants. I’m not faffing. I bet you can come within one metre of my radius without cringing!
Another proof is my cupboard. You open the door and at any given point there will be at least 4-5 different deodorants in there (thats how much I can affored). I feel bad when I don’t have the money because that means that I can’t have a better variety of deos in there. My room mates think that I have become a fashionista just because I have a couple more deos than them! Ask me which brands I use, and all I’ll manage is my most famous blank expression. So immediately I don't qualify. But I still maintain I love variety as far perfumes go.
While I can’t get too close to people with body odour for obvious reasons, what intrigues me more is the millions of fragrances around us. While people who stink have different stinks! People with fragrances have different fragrances too. Very often when you pass by someone in office, you get a hint of fragrance from them. I often begin to guess the fragrance. She smells like peach, he smells like lemon, while this girl smells like berries!
I love axe ads. You use axe and women will cling on to you. You use the new chocolate fragrance and all the women will want a bite of you! That’s a great concept and innovative thought process. I do feel sexy when a man asks me what perfume I’m wearing even if he doesn’t immediately want to cling on to me or bite me. Imagine walking down the street and attracting people with your smell.
Someone had once told me that when you get attracted to someone or feel positive vibrations it also means that you have caught on to that persons smell. Like dogs I guess. I don’t know if that’s true but it sounds interesting. I wish I went out and men came looking for me. Do you think I attract too many men because I often mix my deos (two deos at the same time) or use different deos every other day? I’m not complaining. Heehee…
Another proof is my cupboard. You open the door and at any given point there will be at least 4-5 different deodorants in there (thats how much I can affored). I feel bad when I don’t have the money because that means that I can’t have a better variety of deos in there. My room mates think that I have become a fashionista just because I have a couple more deos than them! Ask me which brands I use, and all I’ll manage is my most famous blank expression. So immediately I don't qualify. But I still maintain I love variety as far perfumes go.
While I can’t get too close to people with body odour for obvious reasons, what intrigues me more is the millions of fragrances around us. While people who stink have different stinks! People with fragrances have different fragrances too. Very often when you pass by someone in office, you get a hint of fragrance from them. I often begin to guess the fragrance. She smells like peach, he smells like lemon, while this girl smells like berries!
I love axe ads. You use axe and women will cling on to you. You use the new chocolate fragrance and all the women will want a bite of you! That’s a great concept and innovative thought process. I do feel sexy when a man asks me what perfume I’m wearing even if he doesn’t immediately want to cling on to me or bite me. Imagine walking down the street and attracting people with your smell.
Someone had once told me that when you get attracted to someone or feel positive vibrations it also means that you have caught on to that persons smell. Like dogs I guess. I don’t know if that’s true but it sounds interesting. I wish I went out and men came looking for me. Do you think I attract too many men because I often mix my deos (two deos at the same time) or use different deos every other day? I’m not complaining. Heehee…
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Happy?
Watch two ladies sleeping under a shed of a high rise building. Hiding from the rains. Trying to protect themselves from the cold breeze with an old piece of bedsheet. Selling water to make a living. When you come back in the evening. They smile. Greet you. Ask you how your day went. You say just about fine and enter the building. The women share a sweet joke behind you and break into a laugh. They seem happy. As I walk up the stairs I remember my day. There is too much pressure at work. I have to deliver. I can see my boss get impatient with me. I have a lot to prove. An extra story to file. Many ideas to generate. God, I wish I was paid better for all this shit I have to go through. Even as I enter my home I think of how much money the two women earn. How they manage to smile through so many problems. Their laughter still rings in my ears. Shouldn't I be happier?
Kung Fu Panda
I loved Kung Fu Panda. But I guess more than anything else I was relieved. Panda couldn't see his toes because his huge tummy obstructed his view. At least, I can see my toes! And if Panda can be so confident about his kung fu why can't I be so confident about myself? Remember Oogway said, "You need to believe!" because "there is no secret recipe!"
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